Choice

Not choreography

(A continuation of the Trad Wife piece)

mmmhhh ssoooo… not surprisingly some people were beautifully trigured and misunderstood my recent article and jumped straight to
“You must hate women who stay home and raise children” ( I actually did do that for years ) or “You’re against women choosing traditional relationships.”

But that is not even close. I want to clear something up because nuance matters:

I am not against devoted partnership, I am not against motherhood. I am not against women choosing a stay at home life. ( because we ALL know it is no holiday or walk in the park ) AND I am not against any woman saying, “My man leads, and I love it.”

If anything, I celebrate the hell out of it when a woman chooses and lives this from sovereignty, safety, and celebration.
What I am speaking out about is something very different and far more insidious.

I’m against the part where choice becomes choreography.

Where women are told..
“This is what makes you feminine.”
“This is what makes you desirable.”
“This is what makes you valuable.”
“This is what real women do.”

When one lifestyle gets held up as the gold standard, everything else gets quietly shamed and that my loves is not devotion. That is actually conditioning wearing a soft focus Instagram filter.

The issue does not lie with the choice but with the script.

The script that insists:
• women must be soft, nurturing, homebound
• men must be providers, stoic, dominant
• women who do not align are “masculine” or broken
• men who do not align are weak or failed
• queer, non-traditional, fluid, or egalitarian dynamics do not exist

This script flattens us as human beings.
It erases entire worlds of expression for women, for men, for anyone who does not fit neatly into the boxes.

What I am inquiring about is the curiosity where polarity talk has become the new language of patriarchy, wrapped in candles, cacao, and tantra vocabulary…
but still based on the old, recycled idea:

“Real women do this.
Real men do that.
Anything else is “out of alignment”

It’s the same binary that, historically, stripped women of:
• their economic freedom
• their sexual sovereignty
• their ability to choose partnership from desire rather than necessity
• their right to rest or work in rhythms that match their hormonal cycles
• their full self-expression, not their assigned one

Trad Wife culture did not invent this, it inherited it.
And it is now repackaging it as aspirational feminism.

The irony is rather rich. Aesthetic empowerment built on the old bones of obedience.

Lovers I want to say clearly..
I love when a woman chooses a devotional role.
I love when a man chooses a leadership role. and visa versa
I love when a couple builds a dynamic based on polarity that feels like magic to them.

But I do not love and cannot endorse the shaming or moralizing of women who choose differently. Especially when it is dressed up as “feminine essence.”

There is no one correct feminine.

There is no one correct masculine.

It is how YOU FEEL. Where you are not performing, but you are open, relaxed, inspired and excited for what and who you are.

Hormonal differences are real.
Biological rhythms matter.
But biology is not a leash. It is a landscape.

A woman can be:
wild
focused
maternal
ambitious
dominant
nurturing
visionary
playful
soft
feral
tender
driven

(…sometimes all in the same week)

And men can be:
emotional
surrendered
steady
sensitive
assertive
nurturing
erotic
creative
grounded

(….often all in the same day )

The full spectrum only becomes available when we stop policing each other’s roles. So no. I am not here to dismantle families, devotion, or homemaking.
I am here to dismantle the idea that these roles should define what womanhood is allowed to look like.

Trad Wife culture keeps pointing to “choice.”
But choice only means something when women can choose anything, not when one choice is praised and the others are pathologized.

Sovereignty means options.
Patriarchy means scripts.
I am interested in the former, not the latter.

And if a woman chooses a devotional path? yyuuuummmmm. and how beautiful.
May her choice be hers. Not inherited, enforced, or performed.

I am curious though….. does a true Trad wifey give up the credit cards in her name? and place all property into her husbands name?……just asking for a friend!!!

If you are curious on wanting to learn about the other Gender Harmonics that create relationships then go ahead and book a one off call with me HERE and lets have a very juicy and informative session.

If you want access to the video I made re the Harmonics simply become a paid subscriber below and access the video here

Always here to disrupt a little socially !!!!

of course.

M

💋