Napoleon Hill spent 20 years studying the 500 most successful men in America.

These men ranged from industrialists, inventors to politicians. They were all men who built empires from nothing and he wanted to know what they all had in common. What was the thing that separated them from everyone else?

And he found it. And I can assure you it is not what most people talk about when they talk about Think and Grow Rich.

The one thing is sex.

Chapter 11, “The Mystery of Sex Transmutation” is often the chapter most people skip or skim, even quietly ignore because it sounds a bit….. much. Yet it is the most important chapter in the book.

Hill’s finding was that virtually every man he studied who had reached extraordinary levels of success was a highly sexed man. Not a man who was having more sex, but a man who had learned (consciously or not) to take that enormous creative and generative force and redirect it towards what he wanted.

Into his work and his vision. Into the thing he was building. (this my loves is sex magic)

Napoleon called it transmutation. The redirecting of sexual energy from physical expression into creative expression. And he was unambiguous about it. Just like the Tantrics. He wrote that this energy is the most powerful of all human desires. When a man learns to work with it rather than simply release it, he taps into a quality of drive, imagination, and persistence that is simply not available to him any other way.

( I have been saying this for years, the tantrics have been saying it for centuries and I am glad Napoleon got there in the 1940s so I have someone to quote that i snot over 300 yrs old.)

In my last email I told you about my client and his success at the casino. Years ago I worked with a man who was the youngest in his company, and he used what I taught him about sex magic to climb the ladder in a much shorter time than he was informed it would take. I still received emails from him for about 18 months after we finished in which he kept sharing his wins and success with the sex magic tools.

Now. I am not sending you to the casino or straight into your boss s office today…(although put it on your list) But I am telling you that what Napoleon Hill understood in 1937 and what this man experienced last week, and so many of my clients have experienced ( me included ) are pointing at the same thing. Your sexual energy is not just about what happens in the bedroom. It is your creative life force. And most men are leaking it out unconsciously every single day, wondering why they feel flat, uninspired, and quietly stuck.

Fully Charged is where we fix that.

Not just the lasting longer, though yes, we do that as well.. the whole picture. The nervous system, the body, the energy, and what becomes possible when a man stops bleeding his life force out and starts directing it somewhere that actually matters to him.

Just think about it….Six weeks, live, with me. You deserve to know this.

We start Thursday 6 August 2026.

JOIN FULLY CHARGED

M

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When the awkwardness in the room is like an old smelly dodge ball. Something shifted in the car on the way home, or was it during dinner? It shifted somewhere, for some reason and now he is somewhere you cannot reach.

Oh and how your brain does what it does.

What did I do? What did I say? Is it me?Why won’t he say…

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Oh lovers…. I have been sitting on this for a few weeks and today is the day I say it out loud. Yesterday I announced it whilst talking with Jennifer on The Open Bedroom Podcast. Which by the way, my current two episodes out of the 218 episodes are #1 and #6 in ratings !!! I am so delighted that so many people love hearing me talk about how amazing men and their sexual energy is!!

I will definitely let you know when the next episode comes out end of this month. OH IT IS A GGGOOOODDDD one.

back to why I am writing to you today…

Fully Charged is open.

It has been over 2 years since i held my live program for men. I have been busy writing my book, studying MORE AND MORE, producing TV shows and helping men with their flirt game as a wing girl. So much good stuff. And now it is time to bring this sexy yet powerful program into 2026.

Every time I hold it there is more to be shared ( 0f course )

So here it is..Fully Charged. ( historically known as The Activated Man )

Six weeks.

Live. On Zoom.

With yours truly. Yes actually me, not a pre recorded version of me (= fun ) and a group of men who are done pretending the bedroom problem stays in the bedroom.

Because lover it does not.

And you know that it doesn’t.

The man who rushes through life, who avoids all the things, especially the wee elephant in the room and who lies awake afterwards in that particular silence, is the man who is carrying it into every room he walks into. His work., his ( lack of ) confidence and the way he holds ( or does not hold ) his ground.

It shows up in the way he reaches for her, or more truthfully, stops reaching for her altogether.

Fully Charged is a retraining. A retraining of your nervous system, your body, your relationship to arousal, your energy, your relationship with your shadow, and what gives you the gift of what happens when you stop leaking your life force out unconsciously and start running at full capacity instead. ( ….melt )

Last week I received a message from a client i am working with Inside of The Wing Girl Method with whom I gave an experimental assignment after teaching him the practicalities of lasting as long as HE CHOOSES… The assignment was to practice holding more. More pleasure and more money ( they are of the same energy ) … his message? The listing of all the money he won 4 nights in a row at the casino. He took the assignment very literal and won…!!!!

If you think this is a bit woo woo…i get it ..but take a flip through the book Think BIg, Grow Rich by Napoleon Hill written in the 1940’s….that book is FULL of the idea of transmuting your sexual energy as a man to make more money.

If this is something you want to learn about then join us for six dynamic and profound live calls, real practices in between and a container of men doing this alongside of you. This gives you something that no self paced course ever could.

“I heard about Melissa from various sources all of which said she was incredible, and in every sense of the word, Melissa is an extraordinary woman. She has an ability to honor the old stories while playfully, sensually inviting and celebrating the new one creating a new reality and sense of self. She intuitively sees people because she really listens, beyond the words, guiding with a grounded, unbiased, balanced, non-judgemental, open and caring heart. In her field and in life Melissa is one badass angel. She has put my life on a whole new sexual and sensual trajectory for which I am eternally grateful”

Richard Costa Rica

We start Thursday 6th August 2026.

JOIN US LOVER in…. FULLY CHARGED

Investment is $689. with payment plans available.

If you have questions my inbox is open.

contactmemelissalouise@gmail.com

My method has helped more than 3,786 men . This is the live version. The one where I am actually there and at your finger tips.

See you on the inside.

M

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Buckle up lovers, for I have been sitting on this one for a bit. A few years actually.

And it has been in the past few months that my unease and confusion has finally made sense.

We have heard it all…ever since the coaching industry discovered the words Queen & King, it has been running with it ever since…and why not. The ideology of it on the surface… is beautiful.

I mean I know. I have even written a few articles with these words leading you down the yellow brick road.

You know the script.”Become a queen”. “Know your worth”. “Embody your feminine”. “Raise your standards”. “Do the work”. And then….. if you have done it correctly, if you have healed enough and glowed enough and stopped texting him back, your king will arrive.

There he is baby, Crown and all.

And together you will….. live in a very beautiful cottage for two, getting all your needs met by each other, until the end of time.

Gorgeous one.

That is not a Queendom.

That is more like a very expensive studio apartment.

In the past few years I have fallen in love with etymology… so let’s talk about what a Queen actually was. Because the women who held and to this day hold that title are not sitting in a tower waiting for a man to complete them. They are running courts. They were commanding armies. They were signing trade agreements, holding spiritual counsel, patronizing artists and poets, managing diplomatic relationships with other kingdoms, and yes, taking diofferent lovers.

Eleanor of Aquitaine held her own court at Poitiers. Her own. Separate from her king. She patronized troubadours, presided over courts of love, held political power in her own name, and when her king displeased her she raised her sons against him and survived it.

Cleopatra did not wait for Caesar. She rolled herself up in a rug and had herself delivered to him. That is not queen energy as the coaching industry defines it. That is a woman who knew exactly what she wanted and went and got it on her own terms.

Catherine the Great ran an empire, took lovers of her choosing, and built one of the greatest art collections in human history. She was not manifesting anyone.

These women had courts.

Not just a king. An entire court. Ladies in waiting who knew their secrets. Political advisors who sharpened their thinking. Spiritual counsel for what the politics couldn’t touch. Knights to make love to. Artists who reflected their world back to them in beauty. People who made them laugh. People who told them the truth when everyone else was performing agreement.

Different people for different needs.

A Queendom or a Kingdom, is the village for high society.

And here is a paragraph of my book…

“Historical Celtic societies, before Roman and Christian colonization, recognized various forms of polyandry where women could marry multiple husbands simultaneously. These arrangements were not aberrations but recognized social institutions that often corresponded with women’s roles as political leaders, landowners, and spiritual authorities. The Irish legal tradition of Brehon Law recognized nine different types of marriage, including arrangements where women maintained multiple simultaneous partnerships. Women in these societies could divorce freely, retain their property after marriage dissolution, and choose new partners without social stigma. Archaeological evidence suggests that many Celtic queens and female leaders maintained multiple consorts, with their sexual freedom serving as both personal autonomy and political strategy”

So this is my constant internal inquiry….as in, what is for sale underneath the crowns and the feminine codes and the standards, is still the same monopoly structure we have always been handed.

One person. For everything.

Your king as your best friend, your lover, your business advisor, your emotional support, your spiritual mirror, your financial partner, your social life, your family. The whole thing. All needs. One human.

You cannot build a Queendom on that.

Not because he is not enough but because no single human being is designed to be everything to another. That is not some kind of failing not a long winded wound to be healed through years of constant therapy. It is actually just the architecture of being human. We were built for community the way birds were built for flight. Trying to get everything from one person is like trying to breathe through a straw and calling it air. ( i am having fun with my analogies atm )

A queen knows who to go to for what.

She goes to her king for the things that are his, the particular quality of his presence, the specific way he holds her, the partnership they have built. And she goes to her court for everything else. Her women for the conversations that only women can hold, her advisors for the thinking she cannot no should not do alone, a certain person for her spiritual practice, for what neither he nor they can touch, and her different kind of lovers and partners for the seasons she is in. Her own solitude for what belongs only to her.

This is not polyamory as some. kind of a prescription.

This is a full, full life. A full queendom.

The loneliness inside modern relationships is not a mystery at all.

We took a structure that was never designed to contain an entire human life and told two people to climb inside it and be grateful. And when they feel suffocated, isolated, overwhelmed, depleted, when she feels unseen and he feels like a failure and both of them wonder if they chose wrong, they leave one another.

The relationship is not the problem.

The isolation is.

A queen is not isolated. A queen has a kingdom…..people, purpose, community, a web of belonging that does not begin and end with one man.

Build the court, my love.

The king is one part of it.

A significant, beautiful, irreplaceable part.

But only one part.

💋

M

The cost of freedom and Imagine being that free

I shared that I would let a little bit out on my journey through this idea of freedom..

As for my entire life…. I have been led ( some say astray ) by the idea of freedom and what that means ot me…. and what it cost me.

I left my country for freedom.

I fought th…

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You remember it.

Maybe you didn’t or don’t call it that.

But somewhere in the body, in that place where the oldest memories live….you remember.

The monkey bars. The saddle of a horse. The corner of a chair you climbed without understanding why you kept climbing back. The bathtub faucet on a lazy Sunday afternoon when no one was home. The pillow between your legs at night, pressing, not knowing what you were pressing toward, only that something in the body was reaching for something that had no name yet.

Even as a baby feeling the seatbelt clip in the baby chair….

Not doing anything wrong.

You were doing the most natural thing in the world.

Oh …the body discovering itself.

Every woman I have ever worked with has one of these memories. Sometimes she laughs about it when we discuss the journey I took her on during tantric meditation, at times embarrassed, delighted, and even a little shocked it is still in there. Sometimes she goes quiet and tears up at the shoving down of the shame that came with it.

These memories are not just a memories. They are what was the last time your body was completely innocent about its own pleasure. Before a mother walked in and her face changed. Before your hand was moved away or the door was shut firmly behind loud verdict giving words. Sometimes it was just a look breeding silence of a specific quality. Sometimes it was a joke between adults that you were not supposed to understand but did, and what you understood was that what you had been doing in private was somehow known, and somehow shameful, and you needed to stop.

So you did…stop.

Or you didn’t, because the body doesn’t stop.

It can’t.

It was built for this, but you stopped letting yourself know you were doing it. You dissociated from it a little. You made it fast and joyless and immediately forgettable. You took something that had been wide open and curious and you made it small and secret and furtive.

And that……. is where so many women’s relationship with their own pleasure begins.

Not in a beautiful discovery but in hiding. And then……. something else happened.

You grew a little, into yrs where the shame got mixed with secretive desire and turned into some kind of electric taboo.

Ask us girls who grew up in the church. The ones who knew every word of every hymn and also knew exactly what happened behind the shed with the boy whose father preached on Sundays. Ask us if the forbidden made it less. Ask us if knowing it was a sin made us want it less.

…….It didn’t.

Son of a preacher man was the only boy who could ever reach her……. and she knew exactly why.

mmmhhh…there is such a delicious charge that lives in the forbidden. The thing you are not supposed to want, the wanting of which makes you wicked, makes you fallen, makes you the kind of girl that good mothers warn their sons about ( as if they are the innocent ) and that thing becomes magnetic. And instead of the damning dogma to stop, the message the body and mind received was “this must be extraordinary if they are working this hard to keep me from it” tee hee.

And so we carried and often still carry, both.

The shame and the hunger pressed together as inseparable. The heat underneath the guilt. The guilt feeding the heat. Sneaking, hiding and experimenting behind the shed, in the back of cars, in bedrooms with the music turned up loud, in bathrooms at parties, in places where getting caught was always just a held breath away, which somehow made it better and worse all at once.

For so many women, that is when the erotic woke up.

Not in safety but in a feared transgression.

What I do with women is give it a different container where the pleasure you found before anyone told you it was wrong……. is allowed to come home back to her and be celebrated.

Often beneath this tender space is the shame of not enjoying giving to a man. Not knowing how to relax and be with his cock and honour it with enjoyment.

For many women there is trauma connected to the aversion of giving head.

This is why I created Oral Pleasure Mastery.

Bold, specific and of course unapologetic, the sacred and sassy art of giving head. Not as some pseudo performance or a duty of something you do because you feel you should. But as full bodied pleasure filled YES.

Yours.

In your mouth, in your power, in the confidence of a woman who knows exactly what she is doing and is no longer doing it from the back of a car in the dark.

That girl found her way. And she is waiting on the other side of your shame.

Get yourself into Oral Pleasure Mastery … here

M

💋

We all know that story we have been handed…. about the orgasm destination. That wil be granted to you by the right man, the right technique, the right amount of time that will eventually unlock the door and in you will walk. tah dah…

And if he did not get you there….well, either he failed or there is something wrong with you. Oh gorgeous one it is one of the most expensive lies us women have been sold.

My love…..you are not waiting for an orgasm.

because you are one.

The tantrics understood this something that we have spent centuries unlearning. And that is that the feminine is not in search of ecstasy.

SHE IS ecstasy.

Shakti, the great creative force of the universe, is not a concept. She is the pulse behind all of it.

The actual breath of life itself.

The force that makes the flower crack through concrete and the tide pull against the shore and the labouring woman forget every other moment she has ever lived.

That force lives in your body.

Not as a hoped for potential. Not as something to be unlocked by the right circumstances with the right partner.

But ss what you already are.

The tantric texts speak of the universe itself as an orgasm of consciousness. Shiva and Shakti, awareness and energy, in a state of perpetual union. The feminine principle is not the one waiting to be pleasured because she is the pleasure.

She is the creative, electric, life generating force that the masculine exists in relationship to.

My love..you carry that in your body every single day.

Come with me and feel it for a moment.

The breath coming in is not neutral. It is an orgasmic movement. The chest opening, the belly soft, the inhale pulling all the way down before the long exhale releases. In tantric practice, the breath alone can move a woman into states most people only reach after considerable effort. Because the breath is life force and this life force in a woman’s body is already ecstatic.

Your movement is orgasmic. The way you walk when you are not performing for anyone. The stretch of your arms above your head in the morning. The swing of your hips when a song catches you unaware. Your body knows a language that has nothing to do with what is happening in the bedroom.

Your voice is orgasmic. The sound of your laughter when it comes from deep in the belly and surprises even you. The low mmm of something tasting extraordinary. The involuntary sound when you lower yourself into a hot bath after a long day.

Your nurturing is orgasmic. The particular quality of presence that a woman has when she is loving someone with her full body, when her hands know instinctively where to go, when she is not thinking but just being with another person in their pain or their joy. That is not separate from your erotic nature. It is the same force, moving differently.

Your rage is orgasmic. ( I know. Stay with me. ) In tantra, the fierce goddess Kali, Durga, the one who dances on the chest of what has tried to diminish her, is not outside of the erotic. She is the full expression of it. Rage that is true, that rises in defence of what matters, is Shakti at full voltage. Your anger is not a malfunction. It is the same creative energy that generates your pleasure, just in a different tone.

Your desire is orgasmic. Not just the desire for sex, but the desire that makes you lean toward the thing that calls you, that makes you reach for beauty, for meaning, for more than what you have been offered. That reaching is oh so erotic. It is longing as life force in motion.

You are doing this all day.

So why, in the bedroom, has so much of this gone missing?

Because we handed the power over to someone else.

We have been handed this script to wait and receive.

To be pleasured rather than to pleasure ourselves from within and let him witness it. We made his skill ( or lack of it ) the piece that gives us result. And in order to do so, we left our own bodies.

Gorgeous one, a man cannot give you an orgasm, because you already are one.

A man’s incredible gift to you is to create the space and environment in which your body feels safe enough to open and surrender into your erotic. That is not a small thing. It is actually enormous. But it is fundamentally different from being the source.

The container matters. This is what a man in your erotic space is the master of. When he is present, not performing, not rushing, not anxious about his own adequacy, your nervous system registers all of this, and it is your nervous system that is the gatekeeper of everything.

A woman’s body does not open under threat.

It does not open when it is waiting to be failed.

It does not open when part of her is watching, judging, managing, wondering if this is okay or if she is taking too long.

It opens when it feels held.

Not held down.(….ok sometimes 😜 )

But held as in, I am here, I am not going anywhere, I can handle what ever comes out of you, I am not in a hurry, and I am completely unbothered by how long this takes.

In that container, in that quality of masculine presence, the woman’s body remembers what it always was. And the orgasm that moves through her….. it was given to her by him, it came from her.

This is what I support my female clients to be…the woman who remembers…….

that she never needed to be given what she has always already been.

oh gorgeous one.

You are the orgasm.

You have always been the orgasm.

Now go and have a glorious wk end you delicious thing

💋

M

Yesterdays article has sparked off a cascade of moments in my memory and I will be making a podcast episode on it…with some secrets 😜 for my inner circle paid subscribers..

The reality is the cost of freedom is something many people are not willing to invest or pay. And this is not just the cost of leaving a well paid yet soul destroying job ( although ..that too ) The costs of freedom are vast. Freeing… but ..vast

One of the costs of true freedom..is giving up being the victim.

You see the victim… gives you things.

Time to take a honest inventory ( oh i have, many times in my life ..don’t think I let myself off of the hook )

The victim gives you righteousness, that clean, intoxicating feeling of being right. Of having been wronged, of the record showing it, of everyone who knows the story agreeing that yes, what happened to you was not okay. There is a particular comfort in that.

It is a steel kind of cold comfort, but comfort nonetheless.

It gives you a place to put the pain. If it is their fault, you do not have to feel the unbearable thing underneath……which is that you also chose this… ( uuufff )

That you kept choosing it.

That some part of you believed it was what you deserved.

It gives you evidence for the story you have been running since before you can remember. ( this story set up between the ages of 0-7yrs, 7-14yrs ) The story that says you are not loved. That your needs will not be met. That you are, at the bottom of it all, unworthy of the thing you most want.

yet..victim mode does not feel like a story because it feels like proof. And we will hold onto proof even when it is destroying us, because at least we are comfortable in what we know.

And it gives you permission to stay small.

If they, he, she and or the world is doing this TO you, if they are the reason, then you are off the hook. You do not have to risk exposure, the discomfort of growth and you do not have to step into the version of yourself that is actually capable of creating the relationship, the life, the love you say you want.

You get to wait. ( and sulk and blame…ooohh this feels so good at times.. shitty but good.)

You can wait for someone else to change first….

My love…..it is a very expensive way to stay comfortable.

I was in a Venting Container on Sunday.

A community container held by Kenya K Stevens … women on bold fyre..truth and daring to exist in pure authenticity.

For those who don’t know…. a Venting Container is a structured communication process. One person vents. Fully. Without interruption, without advice, without someone trying to fix or redirect or make it about themselves. The listener/s just Witness. Then the ventor is responsible for asking for the soothings they need. and this is what the witness/s give.

The topic of my vent….. was/is. the thing I have fought for..ever since my son was born ( this will be revealed in my up coming video on freedom ).

I was raging. Oh the C word was used a lot…. the animal in me was so hurt, mortified and enraged… before the vent I even found it so difficult to speak out loud what I had learned…

My point is…. it was not a wee little “god I am annoyed” vent.

TO me ..for the past 10 days since learning of this “part” of life in my family, I had been engulfed in grief, shock and immense fear. It was like a complete repeat of 18yrs ago.

It was heavy.

it was everything I had walked away from, right at my front door.

So I raged in my vent…and was received without being managed. In the silence after I asked for what I needed and bit by bit as I received what I was responsible for asking for, the freedom seeped in. Layer by layer.

The days leading up to the vent, I had often felt so lost and broken down…. defeated… yet int he venting process…. something so significant was released.

Something structural. Something I had been carrying in my chest and my jaw and the place between my shoulder blades where I store everything I am not yet ready to say out loud.

That is what freedom actually feels like in the body.

Not the idea of freedom. Not the vision board version. The felt sense of it, something dropping away that you did not even know you were still holding.

There was no way I could have arrived there if I had stayed in blame. Blame keeps everything tight. Blame keeps you and me rehearsing the story, refining it, building the case. There is no dropping when you are building a case.

Freedom is on the other side of the case.

In this vent on Sunday ..I gave up everything…

absolutely everything….to be free.

Gorgeous one…

What would you have to feel if you stopped blaming?

What would have to be true about you?

About your choices?

About what you have been telling yourself was done to you?

This is the work my love..not the pretty version of it. Just the actual version.

And it is available to you. All of it…. the release, the drop, the structural shift in your chest that tells you something has genuinely changed.

But you have to want freedom more than you want to be right.

That is the only question that matters.

Want this inside of your relationship?

mmmhhh

book your discovery call here and lets discuss what working with me looks like.

Always with Pleasure

and delicious Orgasmic freedom.

M

💋

At some level everyone wants freedom.

I would bet every single one of you has muttered the word at least once or twice every single yr.

For some of us freedom means expressing being wild and untamed in the bedroom. Unleashing the side of us that secretly wants to just Dom the juice out of our lover.

For some us freedom is whispered during the tired nights of putting 2 or 3 or 4 kids to sleep wishing for silence.

For some us freedom is book those flights on a lazy Tuesday afternoon and be in a new city 48 hrs later.

For some of us freedom is being able to truly say the things we want to say in the moment they rise, without care of judgement, hurting another or risking our primal belief we may not belong here if we did say it all out loud.

For some of us freedom is just wearing the god damn ball gown to coffee because it has sat in the closet for 7 yrs only to be worn once.

For some of us freedom is actually ask or just tell our partners our deepest desires. To tell them what we truly fantasize about. What we really want in the bedroom and life without apology or shrinking.

And for some they just want to have the freedom to say no and be freed from the resentment that has been quietly building for years like mould behind a wall. You can not see it but oh my, you can feel it.

Freedom from the exhaustion of performing fine.

But here is the thing.

Everywhere people say they want it and heavens, how they post about it. They leave relationships looking for it, start therapy looking for it, travel alone looking for it, lie awake at 3am cataloguing exactly who took it from them and how.

But ……….

do you actually want to be free?

Freedom has a price that most people are not willing to pay.

because if you are truly free, you cannot blame anyone.

Not your mother. Not your ex. Not the partner who didn’t show up the way you needed. Not the childhood that wired you for chaos. Not the culture, the patriarchy,..( damn it….. ) the algorithm or the last person who left too soon.

None of it.

Freedom and blame cannot coexist.

The moment you are free, like genuinely free, you are in full ownership of your life. Every choice you made, every dynamic you stayed in, every time you said yes when every cell in your body was screaming no. Yours. All of it yours.

And to really think about that, it can be terrifying.

People want to uninhabited in the bedroom, sounding out primal sounds and be left laying in pools of drenched sweat and other bodily fluids.

Yet that kind of freedom takes being truly free in the heart and mind.

And this is why so many people are not actually free. Not because freedom is unavailable to them, that i tis only for the lucky few…..but because they are getting something from the alternative that they are not yet ready to give up. It suits so many people to stay un free…

Come back tomorrow and I will be sharing the rest of this piece…

I feel like making cacao right now and formulating more of what I was going to write.

See you then

💋

M

Photo taken on my 50th Birthday a few years ago…. 💋

There is a study that has now been replicated across 145 countries.

It maps human happiness across a lifetime and it produces the same shape every single time. Happiness starts relatively high in your 20s and 30s. Then it dips. It bottoms out somewhere around 47 to 50. And then, without exception, across all cultures and continents among vastly different life circumstances, it climbs.

By your 60s and 70s you are among the happiest you have ever been.

Researchers call it the U-curve, but me and my friends, we call it “no more f*cks given”

We have been sold a story about aging that is specifically designed to keep women small, spending, and afraid. ( of themselves )

Buy the cream.

Fix the lines.

Inject, cut and fill.

Chase the youth.

Perform the version of yourself that is still somehow palatable and visible in a culture that has decided your value expires somewhere around the time your periods stop.

Well lovers…it is a lie. And a very profitable one at that

The body…..your glorious, intelligent, completely unbothered meat suit, has been doing something quite different this entire time.

Self esteem in women peaks at age 60. Not the Instagram famous influencer (what exactly we are all still trying to figure out) number of 25. And not the decade when everything looked tightest and most Instagram-able worthy..nope.

Sixty.

By 55, research shows most women are more confident than they were at any previous point in their lives.

They speak up more.

They stop tolerating things they use to tolerate. The obsessive self monitoring that exhausted the 20s and 30s just loses its grip. What other people think, stops being the guiding principle of every single decision.

I have watched this so delightfully over the past 2 decades as I have travelled, meeting and witnessing so many free women. There is nothing more quietly ferocious than a woman who has stopped performing for an audience that never deserved the show in the first place, and never filled the seats either.

And then there is what happens to the body which mainstream medicine will tell you about in hushed, apologetic tones as if it is a diagnosis.

It is not a diagnosis my loves…It is a poetic upgrade.

After regen-opause, as oestrogen steps back, testosterone becomes the dominant hormone. Testosterone is the hormone of desire. Of want. Of I know exactly what I need and I am no longer pretending otherwise.

Women report their deepest, most unapologetic, most hungry sexual appetite in their 50s and beyond.

And your clitoris, the full internal structure of it, the part that extends deep inside your body like a wishbone and is so much larger than any Sex ed diagram ever showed you, does not stop developing at 20 or 30. As the hood recedes after regen-opause, more of it becomes exposed.

More accessible.

More responsive to exactly the right touch. And we only go for what is the right touch at this age!

I have worked with women who experienced their first cervical orgasm, their first full body orgasm, their first true boundaries around their time and pleasure in their 50s.

Our culture tells us our sexuality is winding down at this stage.

But I can tell you when I look around me personally all I can see is how all these women’s bodies had other plans.

The obsession with youth is not an accident as a young woman is still figuring out what she wants making her still susceptible to being told what she should want. Still working out which parts of herself to protect and which parts to offer up.

But a woman at 50, 55, 60? Oh boy lover. WE KNOW>

We have been through enough to know what is real and what is performance. What lights us up brighter than our family Xmas tree ,and what is just noise. What we will accept in a relationship and what she will not (oh how this is often a shock for our partners ) And by now we know how our body actually works, separate from every story we have been handed about how it should.

This kind of woman is not manageable.

She is not easily redirected or manipulated. as she is no longer in the market for products that promise to restore something she has been convinced she lost.

Women in their 50’s and 60’s are the most dangerous thing the attention economy has ever encountered.

It is the clearest, most unapologetic, most genuinely free version of yourself you have ever been.

So …just so you know..the happiness curve just goes up, my loves.

Come and speak with me if you are on this threshold and you want supportive company for it.

Always with Pleasure

M

💋

Just as it is in your fitness, if you stop using your muscles, they go flacid.

This my loves is the same as your C🐓ck.

Every time you masturbate, you are training your nervous system. Full stop.

The speed you use, the grip, the fantasy running in the background, the way you rush to the finish line because you have got seven minutes before someone needs something….all of it is data your body is filing away as this is how sex works. Your nervous system does not know the difference between you and your hand and a partner you are wild about. It only knows the pattern you keep repeating.

And whatever you repeat, you perform. So if you have spent years training yourself to come as fast as possible with maximum friction and zero presence….. that is the programme currently running…with or without her.

The good news is that what can be trained in one direction can be trained in another. This is not about shaming masturbation and bringing in the NoFap of abstinence. It is about using your solo time the way an athlete uses training. With intention and awareness and the understanding that you are literally rehearsing.

Slow it down.

Learn your own edge.

Practice staying present instead of checking out.

Practice choosing when and not just responding to the urge.

Because the man who knows his own body that well, who has actually taken the time to understand his own pleasure and his own capacity, is a man who provides a completely different experience for everyone in the room.

Including himself.

Get yourself into my short yet so powerful C😜ck Gym program HERE.

I got your back lovers.

Always with Pleasure

M

💋

I just read a piece telling women between 42 and 56 who are attracted to younger men that what they are “actually” experiencing is their unhealed inner child.

Nothing to do with real desire.

Nor acknowledging biology and not noting 3,000 years of ancient wisdom confirming exactly what we already know.

Oh no. none of that juicy stuff…just some good ole shame dressed up in Jung.

I need to give you some receipts.

The White Tigress tradition is a Taoist practice dating back approximately 3,000 years. Translated from a rare White Tigress manual and brought to the West by Hsi Lai after years of study under one of the last living White Tigress teachers in Taipei, these teachings were not written for broken women looking for their mothers.

They were written for sovereign women who understood the science of energy. My version of.a bible. The type of bible that actually likes and respects women.

A White Tigress is a woman who follows the natural workings of her sexuality to achieve beauty, youthfulness, longevity and illumination and she deliberately chooses younger men as her Green Dragons.

Not because she was living out some kind of childhood wounding, but because she was very very wise. Like…very very very wise.

The teaching is that a man’s sexual energy (yang) is at its most potent, most vital and most regenerative when he is young. When a woman absorbs this energy she replenishes her own life force. She restores and vitalizes as if she is in a clinic having a NAD drip infusion. I mean…. give me young ejaculate any day over a litre of liquid my body has to work hard to eliminate because we have forgotten that absorption happens through the gut.. ( read an article I wrote about the dangers of IV NAD+ drips here )

A White tigress ( aka modern day Cougar ) does not age the way a woman who has abandoned her sexuality ages.

And the Green Dragon? He receives the gift of being in the field of a woman who knows herself. Women who are not performing nor pretending. Women who bring him into contact with the full depth of the feminine. This is what young men who seek older women are actually drawn to, whether they can name it or not.

Lovers.. this is not a wound presenting itself in a new trend in its attractive form.

This is an ancient, intelligent, mutually vitalizing energy exchange. It is nature baby. Go get natural.

And besides…biologically, it also makes complete sense. Women in their 40s and 50s are experiencing heightened desire and attraction as after regen-opause, as estrogen drops, testosterone becomes the dominant sex hormone which drives desire. Women report their deepest, most exciting, hungry and unapologetic sexual appetite in this exact decade of life.

Research (not 3,000 year old research but current research) confirms that women in relationships with younger men have more sex and report higher sexual satisfaction than women with older partners.

Shocking,

I know.

Biology working exactly as designed…..

Is it possible that some women who attract younger men are working through something? Sure. But most probably the owning of their once repressed sexual freedom. We are all working through something lovers. That is just a part of this deal of being alive.

But the moment a woman between 42 and 56 feels her real, alive, biological, ancient, Taoist-tradition confirmed desire, and the response of the collective is to immediately hand her a yet another wound to examine…..

That my loves is not healing culture at all. That is just shame culture with better beige flowy skirt vocabulary.

Your desire is not your damage my loves.

Sometimes it is just your body, doing exactly what 3,000 years of wisdom always said it would.

Want to understand your desire without the pathology? I have spent 13 years in this work. My inbox is open.

Book a discovery call here

Always with Pleasure

M

💋

Fiji has the highest self-reported happiness rates of any nation on earth.

Despite having one of its lowest GDPs.

Researchers spent decades trying to explain that gap and what they found was a cultural practice so simple that the West dismissed it as anything to do with anything. YET…it is so powerful that three Pacific nations have now written it into national policy. The United Nations Framework Convention on Climate Change adopted it as its primary negotiation format in 2018. Not because it is into being traditional but because it produces outcomes that adversarial Western formats consistently fail to achieve.

The practice is called Talanoa. Pronounced tah-lah-noh-ah.

No direct English translation. ( and no need ) The closest is “inclusive dialogue”, but by just saying those two words, it misses so many things that are important.

Talanoa is the deliberate practice of sitting with another human being and speaking truthfully about your inner life. Without fear of judgement. Without consequence. Without the managed, performance ready version of yourself being required.

Three principles.

No agenda. The conversation goes where it needs to go.

No hierarchy. Every voice carries equal weight.

And

Vulnerability is not weakness as it is the entire point.

Fijian culture does not treat this as something optional where you get to drop out by saying “I am just not like that” or “I am all good. I got nothin to say”

They treat it as an absolute biological necessity.

So lets go to some Neuroscience to explains why.

When a human being speaks truthfully about their inner life to another human being who listens without judgement, two things happen simultaneously. The speaker’s nervous system registers the experience of being fully seen whilst the listener’s nervous system co-regulates with the speaker’s through a process called neural resonance.

This is not some woo woo metaphor lovers. It is pure physiology.

People with regular access to this kind of genuine vulnerable conversation live an average of seven years longer than people without it. Show lower rates of cardiovascular disease. Recover faster from illness.

Seven years. For telling the truth to someone who isn’t going to judge you for it.

(just a quick side note…my results last week with the Quantum Resonance Magnetic Analyzer ((A Quantum Scanner which is a non-invasive medical diagnostic technique)) which tests and registers the different frequencies of 45 vital processes, showed immense improvement from my last scan I did before learning UPLVL…AND before you think i went on a cleanse…I DID NOT..I have been burning the candle like a candlelabra over the past 6 months..dreading getting on the machine again . You can watch the live I did with Kenya K Stevens about it here)

Our western culture built the exact opposite.

Meetings with agendas filled with conversations designed to reach conclusions. A culture where inside of relationships vulnerability is managed carefully because the cost of exposure feels too high. And we are technically more connected to more humans than any generation in history….. whilst the kind of connection that actually keeps us healthy and alive has been systematically stripped from ordinary life. (replaced by therapy, pharmacies and procedures)

We exist in a world where friendships stay permanently on the surface, within families where the most important things are never discussed and marry into relationships where both people perform wellness rather than feeling truly authentically safe to speak truthfully about its absence.

Which brings me to most couples communication tools currently on offer.

One of my Mentors clients said it best: “Non-Violent Communication feels so… vanilla. UPLVL is the full spectrum.”

The problem with NVC and most communication tools handed to struggling couples is that they treat your animal ( hormones, survival mechanisms ) and your ego ( perspective and rational ) like the problem.

Speak calmly.

Regulate yourself.

Use I-statements.

As if the part of you that is furious and terrified and has been carrying something for three years just needs better manners.

It does not need manners. It needs a container.

Inside every person in a relationship there are three voices trying to be heard at once.

The animal …..primal, reactive, purely concerned with not being hurt again. It will fight, flee, freeze or fawn in the middle of your kitchen on a Tuesday wearing its absolute worst outfit.

The ego ….the storyteller. Building the case, assigning the blame, rewriting history just enough to make sure you are the reasonable one. Not malicious. Just desperate to be right, because being right feels safer than being vulnerable.

And the higher self …the part that can actually see what is happening. That has real capacity for love, clarity, and resolution.

The higher self cannot take the wheel while the animal and ego have not been heard. They will not let it. They will hold the whole situation hostage until someone finally, properly listens.

NVC asks you to skip straight to the higher self. What it does not do is give the animal and ego anywhere to go first. So they stay. Activated and running the show.

No wonder the same fight keeps happening.

UPLVL Communication™ created by Kenya K Stevens of Progressive Love Academy does what Talanoa has done in Fijian communities for thousands of years.

It creates the container.

No agenda. No hierarchy between the animal, the ego and the higher self as they all are welcome. And vulnerability is not something to be managed or regulated. It is the entire point.

The venting container that UPLVL builds IS Talanoa for couples. The neural resonance that neuroscience describes? That is what I watch happen in real time when someone is finally, properly heard by their partner without that partner building a counter case shutting it down or taking it personally.

When the activation is released and the system is settled with soothings what is left on the other side are two people who feel genuinely safe with each other.

Which is the foundation that everything else is built on.

The intimacy.

The desire.

The sex that is actually connected rather than just adjacent.

Venting is the first ceremony of a 4 part process. After Venting is Processing, ownership then gratitude.

This lovers is the freedom to connection and health. ( physical, mental and spiritual )

Research confirms that this type of emotional safety and release produces measurable changes in your nervous system regulation, immune function and life satisfaction within thirty days. ( with UPLVLV it is sooner ..I have seen it )

Lovers, that is not a luxury.

That is relationship maintenance. That is what keeps the system clean and the relationship alive and the desire from slowly going cold under all that unspoken everything.

Fiji figured this out thousands of years ago and they are still laughing more than we do.

The UN figured it out in 2018.

So..you can figure it out now.

Come and speak with me here this is exactly what we build in my couples work.

And yes… the sex comes roaring in.,

Always with Pleasure

M

💋

Some of you may know I have been writing a book. It took all of last year to write out the first draft of the 37 chapters.

Why..?

because I had to put it down so many times.

it would cause me to vomit at times.

To cry.

To scream.

To roll up in a fetal position… and rock myself as I felt my lineages pass through me.

As it is not just with a keyboard I have been writing.

And once the tears would cease, I would dance, holler and rejoice in the words flowing.

Because I have been writing this book for decades.

SHE…The Womb, The Wild, and the Return to Sovereignty

Weaved among the words, page after page after tear soaked page are the dreams and the visions I have been feeling, experiencing and hearing since I was a little girl.

My nights were filled with the visions of me writing this book, climbing the rocky face of the mountain to a wooden home surrounded by other mountain ranges with the breath of jaguars.

Today I am steward of such pice of land and it is in the jaguar corridor of Jalisco, Mexico.

Much of my life today that I live in, I felt when I was young.

These words have been in my blood that have bled through me from my grandmothers.

These words flow from me, through me but not of me.

They are all women. Of all lineages. Born into existence once again.

They are not new ideas or new desires. They are breathed, known, whispered and sung from the existence of time..

For some reason, that is not mine to try and grasp. They have been ordained to be heard from my fingertips as I type, from my heart as it aches and through my tears as I cry with each and every passage that sings its song into the book.

My hope of this book is may you find a place in these words.

In these truths of existence from the perspective of women who birthed you here.

every now and then as I experience a paragraph or 3 to be written, I am oging to place them here for those in the inner circle to read.

To gain access to these simply be a paid subscriber.

Always with Pleasure.

Even the pleasure of tears.

M

❤️

Read more

I have had the absolute pleasure to speak with men whom are showing up for their relationships, determined to make sure their relationships do not go down the track of boredom, becoming housemates and fizzling away to a shell of who they were. It is always…

Read more

( click the image above to listen to my choice of music whilst reading this email )

Tired of the “Men need to sow their oats” narrative or the “men NEED to have sex to connect” thingy.

yep…… you guessed it. Another lie to make sure we do not live in our excellence.

That is what I am here for… to pull back the veil of rubbish so you can have better sex lives. Which is what you are born for lovers.

A woman’s body has access to over eleven different types of orgasm. A man has at his best..if he makes friends with his anus, about eight.

Women have no refractory period, meaning after you come, your body is ready to go again. Immediately.

Meanwhile many men have a surge of the hormone prolactin milliseconds before he ejaculates which makes him drowsy once he has had this type of orgasm (which currently is the one dominating mens pleasure ). This is the same hormone that makes you drowsy after a big meal.

So if you are annoyed about your male lover or partner dozing off when you have just began, don’t get annoyed at him per se, be annoyed we don’t live naturally anymore and there is not another man to continue with you. Prolactin is a built-in off switch designed to keep the next man safe from being killed by the one just fallen asleep. Men fight for their right to have first dibs in impregnation….so prolactin is natures way to make sure the female body has choice ( this is one of the Survival of the fittest mechanisms removed from our culture )

It is a fantastic “on women’s side” defence mechanism in his body, designed for him to rest after ejaculation so that you can seek out another mate during your fertile window. Prolactin keeps him down so you can keep going. This is ancient, intelligent biology allowing women to have more sex than men.

I am sure you have heard the saying “Children are meant to be raised by a village”?

Well…..where do you think this comes from?

For most of human history, women did not mate with one man in a locked house. They lived in communities that were fluid, connected and interdependent. Women made love with multiple men so that the strongest and most compatible sperm won. Because the egg chooses. It is not what we are told, that the sperm penetrates his way into the egg.

Several cultures still live this way today. The Mosuo of China, where women choose their partners freely and no word for “husband” exists in their language. In the Hadza of Tanzania, they also practise partible paternity. This is the understanding that more than one man can father a child, and multiple men will claim and raise that child as their own. this equals MORE SAFETY to the children.

And then there is what happens after regen-opause what they call menopause..but we are not putting men on pause, and this is why. We have been sold the story that a woman’s sexuality expires somewhere around fifty. ( well, we all know that is a lie….)

Your clitoris does not actually finish growing until after regen-opause. The full internal structure continues to develop across your lifetime. After regen-opause, as the hood recedes, more of it becomes exposed. Which means it is more accessible ans so much more sensitive.

But wait there is more…your cervix gains nerve endings with age. Women report cervical orgasms becoming available to them for the first time after regen-opause. The shame and the silence and the cultural dismissal of older women’s sexuality is not protecting you my loves. it is daylight robbing you of your excellence and sexual freedom

A woman’s body is built for more pleasure than a mans and as we age.

Not less.

Gorgeous women…you were not built to tolerate sex, to perform sex, to make do with someone else’s timeline of pleasure or someone else’s idea of when enough is enough..oh no baby. You are built for SO MUCH MORE.

You are built to want sex.

Desire sex.

So god damn deeply in your bones.

Over and over and over again…

Across your entire life.

That is not you being too much at all. That is you being just perfectly woman.

Want to get their?

I have spent the last 13 yrs dedicating my work and my life to women’s pleasure ( yes to mens also …longer for them actually ) but oh my..women’s pleasure…I got you lover.

Book your discovery call here to speak about working with me through all the layers.that are in the way.

Always with Pleasure

M

💋

(And before you start flipping out thinking this article is about transgendering ..it is not. This is a photo from a German beer commercial depicting their real customers cradling their beer bellies like pregnant women.)

One of the greatest insults to men in “modern history” was not written about men at all. It was this underhanded cultural decision to make pregnancy a woman’s responsibility. Handed to the person who can only conceive for 12 - 24 hours a month, instead of it being of the one who is fertile every second of his life.

The church did that.

The patriarchy did that.

Under the puritan guise of so called “morality” they basically were outwardly confessing exactly how little they thought of and had faith in…… men.

That flipped the switch did it not?

Head reeling with a bit of WTF? Let me give you some biology that nobody, since Augustine of Hippo (354–430 CE) wrote all this damning of women theology that still haunts us, has placed front and centre in sex ed.

The female egg, the one that can become a pregnancy, is only viable for 12 to 24 hours. That is bloody well it!!!

One window, once a month, roughly half to a full day long. ( a mans sperm can survive inside a woman for up to five days creating ( he creates this ) an entire fertile window across a cycle, about six days. Six out of thirty.

A man is fertile every single day of his life from puberty onward.

Every day.

No window.

No cycle and no off season.

His body produces approximately 1,500 sperm per second. By the time you finish reading this sentence, he has basically made enough sperm to populate a small town.

So when a pregnancy does happens, when his sperm, on that very specific day, reaches that very specific egg, whose body caused it?

Biologically, unambiguously…. his.

And yet.

She takes the test alone. She tells him, and watches his face for the answer that will determine the next decade of her life. She pays for the appointment, the procedure, or the birth. She carries it in her body for nine months while her hips spread and her organs shift and she learns what it means to not own her own physical experience. She breastfeeds, or she doesn’t, and either way someone has an opinion. She manages the shame — from family, from culture, from the particular cruelty of a world that still uses the word “fallen” for a woman who had sex and got pregnant, while the man who created the the thing… is simply... not mentioned.

And if he leaves? She raises that child. She stretches her budget and her sleep and her sanity. She becomes “a single mother”, a phrase loaded with judgment and implications that come with the faint whiff of what did you expect? whilst he becomes a man who “has a kid somewhere.”

Tell me that is not diabolical. Tell me that with a straight face.

I am not interested in villainizing men at all.

I have dedicated my life to working with men and helping them become more present, more responsible, more genuinely powerful in their relationships. And because of that I know something about men that this culture seems determined to forget. And that is what the Tantrics and Tao were teaching men 1000’s of years before Augustine picked up his pesky little pen inciting the recent hostile take over of humanity.( who taught him to write !!! )

These teachings treated male sexual energy as something to be understood, revered and respected, cultivated, and consciously directed throughout HIS body. Not suppressed, treated like a waste product and definitely not outsourced to women to manage. Men were taught to work with their own sexual energy as a powerful life force giving practice.

Instead of this glory, men in our current social environment are stripped of the expectation that they should understand and govern their own sexual energy and have been taught to hand that responsibility to women.

MEN…you are capable of so much more than this.

The story we have been sold, that pregnancy is a woman’s domain, a woman’s consequence, a woman’s burden, does not just fail and harm women.

It insults men.

In its absolute essence it says we do not expect men to understand or manage their own sexual energy. We have decided collectively, that the consequences of male ejaculation (which he cant “help” but happen) are simply not the ejaculating man’s problem.

That there my loves is a constructed narrative designed to weaken men.

You can trace it back to Puritan ideology. That good ole systematic project of making women the guardians of sexual morality while men were quietly exempted from the category of “person who needs to exercise sexual restraint.” A woman who got pregnant outside of marriage was and is ruined. A man who got her pregnant was... sowing oats. This framing was very conveniently installed and served (still does) a grand purpose.

When pregnancy is a woman’s problem, women can be controlled through it. Their bodies become leverage whilst their choices become subject to legislation. Their futures become contingent on a man’s decision to stay or go, acknowledge or deny, support or disappear. Even the wording “women’s health” when speaking of reproduction, is something that happens to women, spontaneously, mysteriously, with no male involvement.

So men….

whilst women in over 180 countries are fighting for their right to be true virgins (see my article form yesterday here on that topic) you can take back the power the puritans took away from you and use the power of your ejaculate FOR YOU, your health and your greatness. If you aint creating babies with it then, create your life with it. It is time to stop treating it like a waste product.

Get yourself into Man In Control HERE

Mens group program being announced soon …. (get yourself into man in control for a head start )

ALWAYS with Pleasure and liberating truths

M

😜

How?

Because the word Virgin has nothing to do with Sex.

Before the church got hold of the “v” word and it became a question asked in hushed snarky voices about teenage girls and possible brides to be auctioned off in social circles, virginity meant something completely opposite to what people use it for today.

And the word only belonged to women. It has nothing to do with “losing” something (quite the lost and found pile isn’t it at an all girls school…?) because the word “virgin” essentially means a woman who belongs to herself.

When a woman is a virgin she can own land, make decisions for herself and sign her own name without requiring the permission of a father, a husband, a brother, an uncle, or any man with a claim on her body or her property to do any of it.

She was and is sovereign, completely answerable to herself.

That is it lovers. That is the whole definition.

No man has ever been able to be that, because no man was ever not that. Men were and are in EVERY single corner of this human led world, always permitted to own themselves. The concept was so unremarkable for them it did not even need a word.

Virgin was a word that named female sovereignty specifically because female sovereignty was rare enough to require naming.

The “original virgins” of this world, were not girls who had not had sex. They were women who had not been “claimed” and decided to live on their own terms. (always a danger really aren’t we?)

So when did it flip? When did “virgin” stop meaning sovereign woman and start meaning sexually inexperienced girl?

“strangely” ( or not so ) enough, around the same time that female sovereignty itself became all so threatening.

As patriarchal religious and legal systems tightened their grip on everything (on land, on inheritance and of course on the bodies of women) the word got quietly and very deliberately redirected. Instead of naming a woman’s independence, it started naming her sexual status relative to men. Had she been with one? No? Then she was a virgin. She was intact, oh so pure and highly valuable. NOW… it is only when she comes inot sexual contact with a…m.a.n..that her value drops..so it is quite the oxymoron…. if you catch my drift…but that is another little topic for later this week.

The word went from describing what a woman owned to describing what she had not yet given away of herself…

And right there my loves is the entire project of patriarchy, packed into a one word vocabulary change.

And what is…… almost ……funny, almost….. is that in this new definition, a boy still can not be a virgin.

Not really.

Because the cultural weight of the word has always landed on her. Her purity and her value tethered to her loss. A boy who has not had sex is just... a boy who has not had sex yet. ( what is wrong with him type thing ) he is in waiting. You know..almost ready. Practically a rite of passage. Yet a girl who has not had sex is deemed pure and becomes tainted once she has.

The same act. ..a “Sexual Debut” I like to call it…has completely opposite meaning depending on which body it happens to.

Why does the original meaning matter? because it created even more lack of safety for women when it became a thing. Men may think it is a word..but the cost of Virginity world wide is f*cking hefty. And the cost of being or not being involves a man…yet the woman is punished, and at times by death….

Virginity means sovereignty over land, over decisions, over her body and the right to exist as an autonomous being that is not tethered to a man.

Systematically, through law and religion and the slow rewriting of language itself, the constriction and control of women, stripped them of their sovereignty and replaced it with permission needed by the ones born from the women asking. Women needed permission from their fathers before marriage, and then from their husbands after it. In many countries, until embarrassingly recently, women could not own property, sign contracts, open bank accounts, or practice professions without a man’s name attached.

And if you are thinking yeah yeah Melissa ( yawn yawn ) …that is in the past….know that 40% of the world’s economies still have at least one legal restriction on women’s property rights. Women’s right to inherit their husband’s property is denied in more than 100 countries. 164 countries legally recognize women’s right to own land, but only 52 actually guarantee it in practice. The law may exists but the reality does not.

And the number that puts it all in one place is only 14 out of 195 countries have full legal equality for women across the board. Property, inheritance, work, marriage, legal standing….everything. The land figures, the inheritance figures, the permission-to-work figures — they are all just slices of that same picture.

14 out of 195 countries….

That’s the world women are living in right now.

This is why the modern day complex of the new meaning of “virgin” is such a dangerous thing….. they made it to mean “the girl” waiting to be handed over.

Not a sovereign woman.

I think about this when I work with women who have lost touch or do not know their own desire, their own pleasure, their own sense of what they actually want. Not what they have been told to want nor what makes them easier to keep, but what they genuinely, bodily, unflinchingly want.

So many women when I ask them what they want, give me a list of needs. We have been conditioned to place needs into “hope-full wants”. And that my loves is a huge part of my work with women. Dismantling this paradigm…to their freedom.

So here is what I want you to take with you gorgeous one.

The original virgin was not waiting for anyone and she was definitely not preserving anything for a man to claim and take as his. She was complete and autonomous for just waking up and breathing basically. And that came with all her very own choices… her land, her body, her sexual desires and needs and her name.

That is not a radical feminist invention.

That is the etymology.

Look it up if you are rolling your eyes right now…💋

And if you have been walking around believing that your value is connected to who you have or have not slept with ( firstly..if you slept you are good…no “harm” done they say….if you fucked..well you are or are not fucked..depending on who is asking ) Just know that this insidious belief was installed in you by the very same system that robbed and changed the meaning of that word, so you would feel a certain way.

Gorgeous woman..you were always the sovereign one.

Ready to truly feel that within your body, yourself and your life?

Book a discovery call with me here and lets about how I can support you.

Always with Pleasure.

M

💋

look..lets be real..these past 10 days or so I spoke to you about some hard stuff ( maybe it was hard ..maybe not )

Vents are lies ….not because you’re dishonest, but because they’re your ego’s version of events. Filtered through wounds, patterns, hormones and history.

You have been holding in emotional waste the same way you would never (hopefully) hold in the physical kind. And it has been leaking into your most important relationships.

Who the hell is actually speaking? in your conflicts?… because most of the time it is not you. It is a younger, more wounded version of you still looking for a resolution that never came.

And the fight was never really about the dishes.

All of it ….every vent, every complaint, every trigger, every argument that goes nowhere…. lives in the gap between what we say and feel and what is actually happening.

Today on my community call I am holding a venting container …a safe, structured space where all of it finally gets to come out.

This my loves is UPLVL Communication™. because every argument has a deeper conversation hiding inside it. UPLVL is a system for couples, families, friends and communities to finally hear and be heard at the level that actually makes a difference because they can be soothed.

To get the link my loves and be a part of the call ( and calls every month ) be sure to be a paid subscriber.

Subscribe now

See you soon gorgeous one.

6pm CST, ( 5pm PST, 7pm CDT, 8pm EST, 10am QLD, AU ( Monday )

M

💋

Read more

You know that fight.

It starts small, even stupidly small.

The dishes or the thing they forgot to do again. That god damn comment that landed wrong or the silence that went on just a little too long.

And suddenly it is a thing.

Like a real thing. A rela big thing.

A “are we even right for each other” thing.

And somewhere in the back of your mind, that somewhat rational part that is watching all of this unfold whispers “How did we get here?”

I will tell you how……( 😌 )

The dishes were never about the dishes.

The tone was never about the tone.

What gets activated in you has been waiting ( sometimes for decades ) for something to unlock it and let it our. And your partner, in that innocent and somewhat oblivious moment, just happened to hand it the key.

And now…in front of the very unsexy sink.. you both are.

Inside all of us is a younger version still running the show.

Not always.

But in those conflict filled with triggers, In those moments where your reaction feels bigger than the situation called for….that’s them.

The child who decided, at some point that the world worked a certain way.

And that version of you at that age wrote it into your bones. ( well subconcious..but I am so into bones atm )

I can tell you now, that child never got the resolution they needed then so they are still looking for it. In your adult relationships. In your arguments and in the way you shut down or explode or go ice cold or can’t stop talking.

You see what you SAY in an argument and what you MEAN are almost never the same thing.

“You never listen to me” means I feel invisible. “You always do this” means I’m scared this will never change. “Fine, forget it” means I’ve given up hoping you’ll understand. “I’m not angry” means I am actually fucking devastated and I don’t know how to show you.

Every complaint is a disguised longing and every criticism is a need that does not believe needs will be met. Just about every argument is your inner child, tugging at the sleeves saying “Am I loved? Do I belong? Am I safe here?”

And most couples spend years….decades…talking across this gap. Getting louder, more entrenched, more resentful and bitter with assumptions all the while wondering why nothing ever really resolves.

UPLVL Communication™ was built for this…..exactly this.

To help you understand who is speaking and what they actually need.

Tomorrow… Sunday the 17th, join me on my community call where I’ll be holding the venting container. A space to finally let out what has been sitting beneath the surface.

To gain access to join this call lovers…be sure to be a part of my inner circle by being. a paid subscriber. $144 to have a call like this every month ( and more goodies )

Subscribe now

See you tomorrow gorgeous people.

M

💋